On giving and kindness

As a general rule my clients are amazing individuals: they are professionally accomplished yes, but more importantly they are introspective, passionate, funny and kind. I want to take a moment to reflect on the powerful role simple kindness has played in my journey as Ava. 

People often say they are drawn to my openness and compassionate nature. I enjoy my work partially because I feel I create spaces for others to be themselves in a way they are perhaps unable to in any other context. Or to put it bluntly, casual relationships do not have to be clinical. Many people for a myriad of reasons need or desire an intimate connection without the emotional responsibility seeking one out (even a platonic friendship) in the "real world" entails. Sometimes to meet certain needs, we must be a little selfish. 

Wait a minute, the theme of this post is supposed to be kindness right? Selfishness is a dirty word in our culture these days, but truth be told sometimes you have to put your needs first, especially to give to others. Self care is important for all, including yours truly. One of the reasons I'm an escort instead of having a 9 to 5 is because having the autonomy over my time escorting provides allows me to practice self care to a greater extent than I would be able to in a more traditional job. Having the time and resources to meet my needs grants me the time and emotional energy to meet the needs of my clients. It also allows me to enjoy meeting them.

One of the most important facets of the relationships I have as Ava is vulnerability. It might sound strange to those who have never seen a sex worker, but often something about the complexities and constraints under which people meet me allows them to open up in a way I can only compare to seeing a good therapist. It's not that everyone tells me their deepest secrets, but that the time they spend with me meets needs that are hard to satisfy under the complexities and constraints of "real life." It's a powerful thing to be able to give someone and I'm grateful to the kind souls that permit me not only to give it, but be given it in return. 

-AVA

 

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